By Kira L. Schlechter

Here at Heavy Hags, when a band describes its sound as “vulva rock,” you know we gotta go there. It’s a matter of principle!

That band in question is Vienna’s Vulvarine, who blast out with their latest, “Fast Lane” (Napalm Records), an intoxicating blend of rock, metal, and glam spiked with blues and punk. It’s their second full-length after their 2020 debut “Unleashed” and 2023 EP “Witches Brew.” The band is singer Suzy Q, guitarist Sandy Dee (the guitar solo/lead work, if sometimes written by Sandy, was recorded by producer Engel Mayr), bassist Robin Redbreast, and drummer Bea Heartbeat (how much do we love those names!).

And they kick things off with “The Drugs, The Love, and the Pain,” with its fast, loose, greasy ‘70s riff. The verses so cleverly echo the title – is the first verse “the drugs?” Is the second “the love?” They’re interchangeable – “the mess you’ve left behind” that “will shine bright in the morning light” could be a result of any or all of those things, and that quality is what makes them work so well. That set of parallel lines – “You feel like floating in the streets/The same old song is on repeat” and “Right by the street outside/They’re singing your song” – adds to the idea that the things in the title are probably one and the same. The brighter, lighter, sing-along chorus, punctuated by “woahs,” contrasts perfectly with the darker, moodier verses. They don’t miss a trick.

The decidedly metal-influenced “Ancient Soul” is for all of us women whose “soul is searching for the moon,” who know in our hearts that “the power of the moon” is “greater than the trees, greater than the mountains, greater than the seas.” Sandy’s outstanding solo work towards the end leads into repeated takes on the chorus in variations on its melody until it resolves into the original one, which is really well thought-out.

“Heads Held High” is a Girlschool-tip-of-the-hat statement of purpose – “I won’t bow to anyone,” Suzy vows, “My time is near … my goal is clear.” Its fabulous, stirring chorus shifts intriguingly between tempos, giving it plenty of aural interest and texture. 

Call “Demons” an exercise in coming to grips with illusion versus reality, that the “monsters under your bed/(are) just demons in your head,” that nightmares and fears can be combated with just a little perspective. “Why are you so afraid,” Suzy asks, “It’s me, your old friend,” “me” perhaps being that perspective, that voice of reason. There’s a point here, and in other tracks, where the overdubs on Suzy’s voice drop out, and it’s great to hear her velvety, rounded tone unadulterated now and then.

“Alright Tonight” is an absolute standout, from its groovy bass-and-drums opening to Suzy’s purred vocals to Sandy’s precisely-aimed guitar volleys. But the best part is the couplet “Let’s run away/Meet at Champs-Elysees/Star-shaped hearts/In star-shaped ways” (geez, that’s great) and the catchy-as-hell chorus whose melody shifts almost each time it’s sung. OK, wait, maybe the best part is the nuanced line that so beautifully describes the budding romance of the plot: “Can’t get enough of your smile/See it before me all the time/As I struggle to hide mine.” Or maybe the whole song is the best part.

It’s hard to emphasize just how relevant “Equal, Not the Same” is these days and its message (to men) is crystal clear. Set to a hectic, insistent groove, it’s a rant against toxic masculinity. “Whenever you take up too much space/whenever you’re loud and in my face/whenever you know what’s best for me (how delightfully sarcastic),” Suzy rages, “I just hate what you choose to be.” And there’s the rub – that behavior IS a choice. She nails it completely when she points out that “equal doesn’t mean the same/If you don’t get it, how should I explain” before delivering the coup de grace – “It’s in your look, you don’t even care.” Preach, sister, preach.

The potent and deliciously snide first single “Fool” (featuring a video with the women in slick white ‘70s-style suits) is a little over two minutes of condemnation of whatever rich entitled dude you care to select. “You are your mom and daddy’s favorite child/You’ve been protected by all of their means … You’ve been selected to fill their schemes,” Suzy sneers. She doesn’t care if he “feel(s) so blue” – “we don’t care about your name/How much you earn/And whom you rule,” they shout, before the final searing indictment: “You bloody fool.” It’s excellent.

Set to a beefy shamble, “Polly the Trucker” is about those women  making their mark in a male-dominated field. There’s a certain romance to it – the giving-no-fucks wanderlust (“she’s got the tunes, she’s got the grip/Speakers blasting Motorhead,” and indeed it’s reminiscent of them) and the sexual freedom (“She’s giving pretty Pete a lift/He doesn’t have too much to say/She’s gonna love him anyway”). But it comes at a price – “her cap is just in place/It hides a weary face/Misery of her days” – and at last she’s had enough – “She’s a tough old girl/But it’s catching up with her/Adios, thanks for nothing,” Suzy belts. The detail, the almost wistful chorus, and the sympathetic tone give this track its depth and personality. 

“Dark Red” is a moody ode to intense, obsessive love that shifts through tempo changes with slippery ease – highlights are Suzy’s ever-intensifying demand, “I wanna hear you call my name” in the bridge and Sandy’s blistering solo that echoes all that heat and passion.

“Cheri Cheri Lady” might be a cover (it was originally done by Modern Talking), but it sounds like it was meant for them. Featuring a guitar solo from Thundermother’s Filippa Nässil, it packs a big punky crunch and a frantic chorus that’s an instant earworm. 

The brief little acoustic closer “She’ll Come Around” has Suzy in full delicious rasp as she brags about her misdeeds (or maybe it’s from the other person’s perspective … it’s wonderfully amorphous): “All my promises are sweet … it’s alarming just how few of them I keep” and “Doesn’t matter if I lie to her/She’s mad, still she cares” and “Doesn’t matter that I let her down/’Cause I know she’ll come around.” Until she doesn’t, that is – “Thought I could do what I want/’Till she didn’t come around.” It’s a complete story of comeuppance told in less than two minutes and it’s terrific.

Currently on tour with Thundermother in Europe (and with German guitarist Cora Lee on board), the badasses of Vulvarine will be denied at your peril.